” Sometimes I envision myself talking to my future son who may never exist and I’m lying to him trying to preserve the ignorance known as innocence. I tell him of all the beauty of the world in its utmost splendor when I myself know that it plagued by nothing but horrors. As I lie to him while the blocks he plays with tumble and roll, I feel my heart getting heavier. Thats my souls way of letting me know that what I am doing is wrong but still I continue to deceive him so. I tell him of how precious life is and how it shouldn’t be taken for granted even though I’ve wanted to end mine for years due to my inescapable depression and unhappiness. He looks at me puzzled, eyes glowing brilliantly against the illuminated backdrop of his playroom. He asks me ” Dad, what’s wrong, why are you crying?” Unbeknownst to me, tears have been falling from my eyes since our conversations beginning with the ferocity of a tsunamis waves. I tell him nothings wrong but his eyes tell another story, with flames of worry glowing in his eyes. I tell him that there is no need to worry about me because I’ll always be by your side, helping guide you to be the best man you can be and I force out a smile to fight back the tears. The glow of worry fades from his eyes and he continues to play and listen unaware of the struggles he’ll face when he’s older. The struggle to wake up everyday just to know that things won’t change. The struggle of living each day having each one feel more meaningless than the last. The struggle of living knowing that the different is shunned and destroyed and conformity is embraced. The biggest struggle he’ll live with is knowing that his father lied to him in order to preserve the ignorance known as innocence within him so that he’ll learn to be his own man through his own life experiences. If resentment and hate is what I gain in order to preserve the luster of childhood in him a little while longer then thats okay, as long our bonds sacrifice is not in vain. As I get up to leave and wipe the dried tears from my eyes he runs to me and hugs me. He tells me he “loves me” in his cute baby voice and says ” I wanna be great just like you.” I tell him I’m not great and he says ” your a fibber daddy.” I ask him why he says this and he tells me ” I wanna learn to be great by watching someone great and to me thats you and if it wasn’t true then you wouldn’t have endured the horrors of this world for so long daddy.” Then at that moment as we walk downstairs hand in hand smiling to greet his mother coming home from a hard days work I realize our bond is safe and that my child is a rare gem, rarer than the biggest and brightest diamond because my son is not innocent, he’s better than that, he’s aware….” - Me - Excerpt from my short stories
” I am a man who sees the world as it is and not as I wish it would be. Life has many underlying themes that lay betwixt the boundaries of life and death. The potency of each theme and every human experience is supposed to lead to growth and an eventual ascension to paradise, when in essence it just leads to more pain and heartache. Men and woman abuse one another claiming to be looking for love but in the end are looking for power and control over the soul of another. The men and women who work hard are out numbered by the weak whose luck is for some paradoxical reason better than theirs, even though they’ve yet to earn it. The children of the world are given poor examples of men and women to look up to and end up becoming twisted and tainted versions of the strong known as the weak. The people of the planet have the power but instead of using it, instead relinquish it to the corrupt and unjust political officials who control their lives. The men and women who actually have passionate, and caring personalities are neglected for the men and women who are less than that, and at times are less than human. As I stand and see reality as it is I take a snapshot as a memento and look at it to use as motivation to help me keep on living. There is more hate and injustices but they are too numerous to list. That photo is my motivation to keep going so that one day I can change this world for the better. The devious photographer is called as such because they misinterpret his photography. They think he’s spreading misery but in essence he is spreading truth. The people don’t want to hear it and call him names, throw things at him, and try to hurt him in order to get him to conform to their values and maintain the status quo. I can not and will not and when the hate, slander, and threats come my way, I retreat to my own personal paradise inside the hellfires of space, and turn on my ipod as I float in space, and crank the sound up high so that I can hear the bass down low….” - Me - Excerpt from my poetry
Some beautiful R&B to sooth your savage souls, hope you enjoy….
” I want my screams to rain from the heavens and scare the gods of the sky and the false prophets of earth and send them into a stupor so potent that they shall never recover. It seems as though they won’t need my screams of truth to send them to that fate, since the logic they craft shows no signs of actual cognitive function. These people tell our beautiful and strong women of the universe that they are too fat or ugly when they are just fine. They tell our few strong men to treat these queens of the earth as if they were less than human in order to attract them, and sadly not every woman is strong or every man smart. These women fall for their games and the men see it works and teach it to the successors of this planet. This deteriorates the quality of men and diminishes the strong women of the world. When I see this it makes me love who I am because I see that I am higher than these men and that I must band together with the others of my caliber in order to spread our knowledge. We must teach the men to respect and cherish the women of our fair planet, and the few strong women must teach the weak how to be as they are. The weak only breed more weaklings, and the strong are unfortunately outnumbered by the weak and dumb. In order for our victory to be sure the strong must act before its too late, because if not then the strong men and women will be reduced to little more than exiled pin-ups….” - Me - Excerpt from my poetry
The Cosmic Turntable By SuperSeoul
Happy Birthday Nujabes And Rest In Beats :)
Since posting a nujabes song would be cliched, I decided to just post one of my favorite songs to honor him instead so enjoy….
” You were once the center of my universe, the apple of my eye, and were the garden that completed my eden. You had all of the qualities that I wanted in a woman but apparently my feelings don’t matter. You were my dream girl and it hurt to see that even after all of our time together a chance was never thrown my way to win your affections. I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I don’t don’t fit into the stereotype of the cookie cutter men you seem to be attracted to. I’m sorry that you seem to be attracted to the same type of guy, and that you can’t see that you’ll just end up hurt and hopeless once again, and end up in the same spot you began in once again, only to begin the same process anew. A person can’t control who they fall for but they can choose how to react and deal with feelings involved in the situation at hand, and you dealt with them in a most inappropriate manner and that was our downfall, your indifference to my love and my anger at that very same indifference towards my very real feelings. My emotions and needs don’t matter to you because your just to busy only thinking of yourself, and thats what will eviscerate you in the long run, and when you hear about what I do for the women who actually want my love, you’ll see that you fucked up big, and that a chance to get my love back may never arise again, and you’ll just end up floating in a quintessential purgatory of the mind, one that mirrors your own soul and replays all of your failures for all eternity, while you sit in the center trapped and forever stuck in the galaxy known as the mirrored nexus….” - Me - Excerpt from my poetry
” As my confidence reaches its peak, I realize that that point is only a small stopping point on its journey to grow into an even more potent force. Some say that I’m overconfident but what’s overconfident to you can barely be called confidence when it pertains to me. When shedding light on oneself you see who you could be and who you were whilst standing betwixt the two in the present. What’s even more scary than that is that sometimes you look at the monster you can possibly become, you fail to realize that your slowly falling in love with that monstrosity more and more each day. Now when thinking of this predicament with me in the drivers seat I feel that the person I’m truly meant to be will be the one I will inevitably become. If not then I hope the moons gaze cools my soul and the stars comfort my heart as I walk onto my minds stage and I’m blinded by the thousands of memorizing super lights….” - Me - Excerpt from my poetry
Some more good music, enjoy….
Lucid Waking - Tokimonsta
” The women of our universe have an unparalleled grace and beauty that can’t even hope to be matched by any other species of creature, whether it be in this galaxy or the next, it can’t hope to be rivaled. The sad fact of the matter is that most women have failed to see this within themselves, and many of the weak minded men of this universe also make this problem much worse than it needs to be, by abusing them physically, verbally, and emotionally. These men take them for granted as well and thusly, create deep rooted insecurities that shall torment these beautiful souls for all of their days. What adds insult to injury is that some of these women shamelessly use these very same insecurities to garner attention just to make themselves feel better. This lowers the level of women as a whole unfortunately and creates what some like to call an ” Attention Whore “, which is just pitiful if you ask me. I realized that when a women is miserable she has a habit of making all those around her miserable as well, but when they are happy, they have a glow about them, a certain radiance that glows brighter than any colosseums flashing lights….” - Me - Excerpt from my poetry